Friday, 8 April 2016

New blog, First post.

I have blogged in the past, but never really bothered too much about it, I think this time I will take it more seriously, blog about my illness, and just my life really... Obviously some things will be kept private, but when you're a loner in life... Blogging is a good thing to do I reckon. 
I mean you sit here and vent to yourself, what can go wrong?! 

I guess I'll start with my illness, I have CFS which stands for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and to me ME is the same and stands for Myalgic Encephalopathy. Quite a mouthful right?! Personally I don't feel there is enough awareness for this illness. I mean to this day I still get people saying 'oh just change your diet' 'oh just work out' etc, etc... And it's like... Are you fucking serious?! Diet change is the first thing I did, as for working out? I went from doing it every day to maybe one every one or two months... It kills me off, my muscle pain is more intense, no energy, it's a ballache. Noone who does not have it doesn't really understand, in fact those who do have it still don't really understand! 

I've always been tired. Like literally don't know what it means to not be tired, I also realised the other day when I was sat here thinking that 'hey, I've also always been cold'. Which is another thing linked to it... But stress of a break up (I'm okay about that now) made me progress more symptoms... Like shit. I googled stuff you know, and I found this illness and I knew, I have that. But of course Doctors don't like being told what's what. The Doctor I was with at the time ignored me pretty much, told me I was faking shit to get in to see him, horrible horrible man. But then I changed Doctors... And you know what I come to realise? Female doctors beat male doctors, they actually give a fuck, and I aint being sexist here, legit first time I went in this new doctors she agreed, more bloods, but then she had left, I went to a male doctor, bad mistake 'that's all in your head' till I pretty much went sick, so he referred me to Rheumatology.. After that I went back to the docs, this time a women, and yep. Yet again she listened and gave a fuck (never again will I go to a male doctor). She sent me for more bloods, asked me some questions, and when everything came back clear she also said I have it. I finally got referred to the CFS/ME clinic and woohoo, I finally had my official diagnosis. Only took me a year and half, and I knew I had it all along, when you know. You know. Since I only got diagnosed not so long ago, I've only gad my starter appointment, I'm heading there next week, and I'm hoping they can maybe help me... I'm showing more and more symptoms and finding it so fucking hard to stay normal... 

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