Saturday, 8 October 2016

Scared to live, forgive. Can't let go of the past.

  The title is always self explanatory. And now I will rant about the fcts and ramble on. My god I feel sorry for those who read these posts. But at the same time I hope they help you. My thought... I'' sure I aint the only one with these thoughts!
  First point. I'' scared. Scared to live. Why? Because I'm fed up of  getting hurt. I'' scared of being left. It isn't fair you know. I don't know why I deserve to suffer so badly. I try and correct things, be happy... and it all just collapses around me. People take so much for granted. It is unfair. I lose everyone me though. Friends. Males. Family... it's always ongoing. Someone new? Cya later mate.
  I can't let go of the past either. The emotionally abusive ex has just totally stuck with me. You never fully get over your first love do you? Very, very annoying. I mean how can iwstill not be over someone who fucked me over me, ruined me so I am so incapable of being okay again! I don'5 know. Funny how emotions work...
  I can't be happy can I? Something. Someone. Doesn't want me to be happy! Everytime I meet someone my first thought is always how are they gonna fuck me? Because it always fucking happens... will I ever meet someone who never leaves me? I know by now I will always be single. But regular company... please?!

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