I gotta write shit. Some of it may make sense. Some of it not. Who knows. My mind is a fucked up place, a tangle of bullshit and an endless fight. I feel so alone lately. I mean noone who are supposed to be there for me have reached out to me lately. Males keep fucking me around. Family? Only really close to my mum and she doesn't understand.
I hate being me sometimes. Always. Sometimes. I don't have a fucking clue. It's a Sunday. I always crash mentally on this day becaus wof my illnesses and doing the most physically. It isn't fair. I want to be bloody normal!
As I always say. I have accepted that I will never find anyone and be single forever... but still it does suck.
Why does noone I want me want me? In fact. Noone wants me really. They say it. But really they are full of absolute bullshit. I mean I know I'm kind of crazy... but I have my reasons. I know what males are like... but still does not mean I deserve to be so unwanted, so alone, I know for a fact I am a decent person, a little brutal, but hey honesty over lies anyday.
My god my eyes are driving me insane. In fact. My eyes, nose, face. Just so fucking itchy constantly. It's never ending and nothing helps the itch. I have tried all sorts. I still do. With no goddamn relief.
Another thing. The CFS/ME needs to stop getting worse.
I need a nose job. I'' fed up of my glasses constantly breaking because my wonky nose can't bloody cater for them. Not even joking.
I was seeing someone. But I guess, as always rhat is over. Nothing lasts. Males suck. On to the next one. But I cannot find one.
I can't wait to spend on myself. Money is the only thing to make me happy!
Anyway. Yeah. Jumbled. I know. So many thoughts. Silly mind.