Honestly. Life. Fucking. Hates. Me.
I'm not even joking. Everyone always says 'stay positive, it'll get better' but I fucking try... and you know what? It just gets fucking worse. Every second. Every minute. Every fuckong day. Just utter fucking bullshit. Why me? What the actual fuck did I do do to deserve such misery and unhappiness?! It really is all the horrible and people who do something awful that end up with happiness, what have I gotta do? Seriously?! Do I have turn murderous to be happy? Because it fucking seems like it!
I give people chances, guys, and what do they do? They just fuck me up and leave! It is true what they say though, love completely fucks you over. The guy I was seeing last, I shouldn't have gone there, an ex mates ex, stupidity at it's finest. Especially when I saw her fuck him up... so he got to fuck me up... and I just know he was an idiot and he's gone back to his ex. How do I know this? Because she's single herself. Utter fucking bullshit.
I get I probably shouldn't have gone there but he was such an amazing guy... it's a fucking shame it took a cunt to fuck him up. It just isn't fair no more. Not to me. I hate living. I don't see the fucking point. I have no decent mates. I have a family that doesn't give a shit about me. And guys? They continue to fuck me up, fuck me over. And my head is just simply fucked up and I do not want to be here much longer...
And you know what? I probably won't be. There is no point in my like. It just gets worse. So much hurt. So many issues. I've been drinking more. I shouldn't but I can't stop anymore. There is legit nothing better to do. Especially when people only wanna see me when it involves a night out. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck off.
I genuinely just want to be gone.
I'm not really eating no more. Sleeping more. Drinking more. My life is just a fucking waste. I would gladly give it to someone mire deserving... if they could cope with the shitty illnesses and fuck fuckery that I can't cope with.
I cry daily. Just why me? Why do i have to have a shit life? Shit illnesses? Shit people? Never being good enough but forever bein played.
End it Abby. Pointless.