I am trying. And I want to be okay all the time. Even if my loneliness is forever. But that's fine... it is. As long as I have friends who keep me busy, they get me out. My mind is occupied and being single for the rest of my life is the last shitty thing on the mind. My body hurts though, a downside of actually getting out... my body starts to hurt more all over!
It was worth it. I choose psyhical pain over my mental pain! Honestly. If you've read my blog, you'll know what I mean.
I would also like to say to the person who tried to comment on my last post that I need to go get help? I already have. I'm on pills. But depression is a constant fucking fight and sometimes I just can't fucking help it! I have already been to the doctors, and counsellong isn't for me. And I'm okay with that. I am!
There are people out there who are still ungrateful. They have a partner. They can work. They have friends. Yet they cheat. And wish they didn't have to work. And fuck their friends over... like seriously what is with that?! I'm someone who has learnt 'the grass isn't greener' so quit being stupid and appreciate what you have... or I laugh at you when you lost it all. Because you sure as hell fucking deserve that shit. Stupid idiotic humans.
It's also another day when I get angry and stressed at this time. Why? Because yet another person writes a status for likes because they got blocked. Yet the ones who comment and like have been blocked for years, or months... like can you get a life? Can you stop obsessing?! Like I don't even know who most of them are... I'd pass them in the street and I still wouldn't know who the hell they are! Like seriously! I never even do a thing wrong. People just don't accept being blocked becauss I can't be fucked with their bullshit, their slyness, I mean. Why the fuck would I? Honestly. Weird things.
Less stressing. I need to be totally more numb to every emotion ever! I'm hungry but I can't eat it's past 8pm! Ha. Yeah. I go by that 8pm rule, sometimes I can't, eating has to happen. But hopefully I fall asleep soon... watch a couple more episodes of Party Down South and then yeah, try and sleep. But I just know it will be another night tossing and turning. Stupid insomnia that mixes with my illnesses!
I hope you're proud of me of not doing a total downer of a new blog post.,, I'm trying, promise.