Friday 15 July 2016

I do need another reason to live.

I guess. I shouldn't be sooo depressed, but I can't help it since it is a mental illness... They need a goddamn cure for this along with CFS. I'm fighting every day I stay alive. Like more than others. People always tell me 'people are worse' and yes I know that, but it doesn't mean I can cope any better than others... I am coping by just sleeping. But what is life? When all I do is sleep?

I do need more reasons to live, because right now my only reasons are my cats and my three Kanye, Cudi, and Vic... And then my other artists, basically just my music, how sad. Cats and music.

But at least I have them reasons... I think without my cats I wouldn't be here, they are legit my babies, yes I am a crazy cat lady!! And not ashamed!! Hahaha.

I'm not sleeping at night at the moment... I get in bed and my mind is just so overthinking, I'm so sad, I just breakdown and cry... Literally my sleep at night is me getting into bed, sleeping, but not sleeping because I am aware of me trying to sleep... This is till around 6am and I finally fall asleep, and then I get woken by my family who do not know how to be quiet and just scream and bang around.... And then I finally fall asleep about 9/10. But I'm forcing myself to wake at 12 at least. But god, my head and body hurts more and my tiredness is bloody intense.

I don't know what I did to deserve a shit life, ai think if I got more than £60 a week I'd be happier, I'd have more money, because in Financial Domination there are so many timewasters and criers.

Maybe someone is listening to me... I just want to finally be happy.

No comments:

Post a Comment