Wednesday 7 July 2021

Oh, come on head of mine.

   My head really fucking annoys me. I see all these people happy with actual friends and their relationships… and I’m like why can’t I have this?! Instead I’m lay in bed crying because I’m just at the end. Life is truly against me. I’m not even joking. I’ve prayed, begged, called out to the Universe. I’ve tried to have friends. Tried to find a guy, tried to be happy… but nope. Everything in my life goes to shit. I’m disabled but given shit because my disability isn’t shown. I can’t work no more atm. Working out has been a fail, I do every so often but till then I’m just a fat cunt! Guys constantly reject me. I really don’t have proper friends… nobody reaches out to me unless I’m the one to message first and it’s just breaking my heart. No wonder my body is constantly tense and I grind my teeth all the time. 

  I’m just not happy. And I try so hard. But it all fucks up and gets worse! Why can’t I just accept that for me I’m supposed to be alone. Well tbh, I do actually accept it alot… but moments like these is when I blog about it. Because. Loneliness is a killer. And when like me you literally have nobody to talk too… you just blog. Well I do haha. 

  Again, not like many read my blog. But it kinda helps me.

  I’mmjust empty. Sick of being like this. Why do I deserve to have so much shit happen? I’m minus 400 in my bank because I spend to fill a void… I need more money. I wish I was rich. That’d just fill the void of having noone. Just buy whatever. Clone myself too haahah. 

  Fuck life, honestly. Right now I just wanna be done and give up. I HAVE FUCK ALL TO LIVE FOR!!!

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