Friday 12 August 2016

High School shit.

  At the end of the last post I said I would post another post regarding when I started High School. So here you go.
  I started in St Mary's before going to Lowton. And I was there for a year and a half. Me and my 'best friend'. I was ugly till I was 18 I'd say but even then I'm still ugly hahaha! So yeah when I was in St Mary's. I vaguely remember some parts yet again, just the bad shit. Hahaha. Ugh. There was this one little prick who made my life hell, back then I could never put on weight and I used to eat soooo bloody much. So my nickname off this guy was 'anorexic'. And it was awful because obviously everyone else joined in. I literally had nobody. Jumping from person to person for someone to hang with so I didn't look so much of a loser, even though I walked into a bin once :'). I used to fance someone really bad and I gave him a valentines card... What did he do? Laugh in my face and ripped it up. Making my confidence from 0 to -53837. Grim!
  The 'best friend' of mine said she was leaving Mary's for Lowton. I basically followed her. Bring on a few more years of hell at High School. When I first started my 'best friend' had a new best friend... So now there was a Trio, except I was the one they always shut out, invite each other, but missed me out sometimes. That sucked. The guys in my year were never interested... In fact noone was interested in me. Just like now really. With my massive ears, long thin brown hair, I couldn't blame then! I hadn't even filled out either till the last couple of years of school when I turned chubster ha. I got bullied off pretty much everyone. And after year 8? I literally had to jump from group to group as these two best mates had turned popular, so yet again I had to hang with anyone who would. Loner life was intense. Boring. I used to have to stop myself crying daily. It was bad.
  And then there was the first actual 'love interest' which lasted about a week. He basically used me to make his ex jealous... Then got back with his ex... But it was fun while it lasted... Except I got hurt, madly. I got called 'stalker' for a while because of my over-texting of the guys from the year above... It wasn't my fault. I felt ignored. And I'll be honest. I still do it now the 'over text'!  Basically. I still got bullied in High School. The 'popular' lot used to laugh in my face. It wasn't very nice. I had noone, in the end I used to just spend my days pratically on my own. I used to also cut myself I hated being bullied that much, it was awful. I'm not proud of doing what I did, but obviously my depression has been around for a very long time. Just like my CFS. I hated High School. Lowton High breeds cunts. I swear to god. If someone from that school is reading this and you know you bullied me... Guess what? You're still pathetic and I know because a bunch of you still try and bully me. Grow up.
  The only good thing about my High School years were my home life until we moved house again. The fact about kids 5-18 all being able to hang out and shit, it was good. I miss those days. I mean what isn't to like about a massive group playing manhunt, or kick a ball and hide? Or even bulldog! But even then. Because this group was big, and others joined us from not so far sometimes it could get dramatic, and yeah I felt the brunt of it. Like there was one guy in the street everyone used to be in love with... But he played us all, like literally was seeing us all at once. It was hilarious, and me being crazy used to always kick off ha. But back then I wasn't the strong person I am today. So I didn't exactly kick off. People used to call me names.
  Playscheme was fun then, no longer existing anywhere I don't think but it was fun. It was basically a group were they organised outings for the kids. Camelot, Southport even a field with a blow up slide once and other stuff. Kids were allowed to be kids then. No shitty Social Media stopping us! They should bring them back.
  I guess even back then guys played me... I mean the kid who got off with every girl on the street, the guy in High School, oh and there was the one at the top of the street who I used to think the world of, till he cut me out. Like a few years back I found out the truth for that... He had fucked my friend. Even though I never had sex till after I left school I still got played.
  The bullying was the worst thing for me. The bigger shit happened after. (Read previous posts).
God knows what I think of to post next... But I will and I'll keep you updated.

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