Friday 12 August 2016

More things that made me, me.

  Since people are actually reading my blogs these days. I thought I would write another post! About my childhood/teen days.... How I can say that I have always been lonely and alone. Never really having proper friends in a way, I don't know...
  I started off living in Westleigh, obviously going to that primary school for the first few years of my life. I had friends. But I didn't. Obviously because I was so young I only remember parts, just like everyone would. Unless they have some super memory type shit! Haha.
  I remember having a group of friends, well sort of anyway, they all came to my birthday parties when that was a thing. I also had two other mates, one I'm sort of still in touch with the other one? No idea. Back then I remember with these two, one was obsessed with horses, she had a gigantic back garden as well, as she had a birthday party once at her house, the other girl I remember doing 'bloody mary' in the toilet the rushing out the toilet so I 'didn't die'. Funny the shit you do isn't it! Back to the group, they were nice at first... Then shit got bad. The older brother of one of the girls bullied me really badly. And because I used to have to go there after school to wait for my mum, so it was unavoidable. He used to lock me under the stairs (i was scared of the dark extremely back then) and I'd be crying so much, yet his 'parents' never even stopped him or noticed, neither did the sister who I was a friend with. It was horrifying, he probably did more, in fact I'm sure he did but I remember being under these stairs crying my heart out. And then there was one time he scared me so much I actually peed myself... Yeah. Embarassing for me. And then back to this group, there was this one guy who got me to steal pokemon cards off two of the girls in the group. He took half. Till the next day, he shover them all back to me... Because he had 'grassed me up' and made it look like it was me who just stole them. You could of guessed what happened then... Yep, they all fucking bullied me in this group. Pushing me around, calling me names. It was fucking awful. But then we finally moved house. And thankfully. I no longer had to put up with these at this school.
  I moved to a better place, in a way anyway. I remember the new primary school wasn'r as bad. I don't actually think I was bullied here. Well nothing too bad or I would have remembered. Like I had with the first school and the 'friends' I had there. It was kinda peaceful, handstands, playing with other kids, playing marbles, my god I miss being a kid, and I wouldn't want to be a kid from this generation, they're all rats consumed by technology. I miss the good days. I do remember reading all the lower key stage books too soon and having to go to the later books and reading through all them too, such a bloody nerd, and I still am now. I also like used to ace spelling tests. I was brilliant as a nerd in this school. I acted once too, and it made me realise I am not cut out for in front of a camera in that way. Too self conscious.
  I could sing back then too, I had a 'best friend' back then before we started high school and others got in the middle of us and we used to go to hers or ours and sing our hearts out and she used to be jealous because I was the only one who could the high notes for a very long time... Now I haven't clue how I sound now. I also won a trophy once at Kareoke. Only thing I ever won till I won a fee bets and books!
  The street I lived on was brilliant too. I mean when I was in Primary school there was just a few kids who would come out but once it was High School so many kids used to come out between the ages of 5-18. It was ridiculous. And amazing how such an isolated street brought together the kids.
  After the shitty start at the shit primary school & area full of nasty people, life got better when we moved. But then I got older. And I started High School, and it got worse again... But that will be in the next post. Thanks for reading.

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