Tuesday 16 August 2016

One of those days.

Okay. Since yet again I feel like I can't turn to anyone... I guess I'm back to my blog to vent aint I. I mean god knows.
  So I woke up this morning and my depression felt the need to hit me and make me feel like absolute shit today. I just feel so empty and unhappy, it really fucking sucks. When I have a touch or feel of happiness it gets taken from me, and it's starting to really piss me off. Someone who controls the life shit really has it in for me I swear to god. Giving me illnesses, having me fucked over all the time. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!
  I'm talking shit I know. My illnesses are really shitty right now. My CFS also has decided to give me a fucking bad day... Literally so tired, so sore, my head is killing me, my eyes are tired, I feel extremely fucking sick... I just wish I didn't have this illness anymore.
  In fact, today is legit one of those days where I wish I wasn't here... I mean what the actual fuck is the point? I have noone or nothing to live for.
  Normally people buying things cheers me up... But not today, not like I have any anyway, they've all disappeared again, it's fucking annoying. Just because there are so many dommes and not enough payers, and the idiots keep paying fakes instead of me. I've realised now though I actually have been doing this for more than a year! got my dates mixed up I guess.
  My sex drive pisses me off aswell you know. I mean always turned on but no decent males that can just fuck me and they can't even keep up with me. I never used to be like this, I wonder why I'm like this all of a sudden. It's ridiculous.
  My mood today is crazy and all over the place. My heart hurts today because I'm in a shit mood. I just want to be happy. I wish the universe would just listen to me and stop givig me bad fucking luck. Life bores me. People bores me. I just don't want to be here. I can't wait for something to push me completely over the fucking edge.

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