Monday 27 February 2017

Moods are ever changing.

  My doctors suck, that is true. They constantly get rid of the women ones all the goddamn time! I find a good one and boom they go. I've been kinda numb, but just now, boom, my mood is back down. I'm so lost. So alone. And life isn't fair.
  All those people who have fucked me over, but they don't have unhappiness. They all seem to be happy, loved up, perfect lives etc! They really do not deserve it! I hope some of you fucktards are reading this, I hope you feel guilt for treating me badly, I hope it eats you up so everything begins to fuck up for you too. Don't even care anymore.
  I've been through way to much bullshit to even care about anything anymore. Honestly. I have a lot of hate still, I tried to let it go but I'm constantly faced with other peoples happiness, while I never get happiness, never smile truthfully, just sadness, and tears over here. But it's always been the case, and it will never chance. Other people are too fucking horrible. Creatures!
  In a perfect world I'll be somewhere else, not in this horrible area which breeds cunts, I dunno why people are so horrible, abusive, incosiderate but they are. Also fake 'gossip' gets round before you've even walked a step, its a joke.
  I'm 24 soon, and I'm still at a loss.
  On another note, the 'Financial Domination' side of things have improved though! At last. Sort of. Still just mini payments here and there but it'll be going to my ink days and my Birthday... only things I look forward too. Honestly don't think I'd be around after this year if things don't get better.
  People always drone on saying only I can help myself, blah blah fucking blah. That clearly isn't the case... I have fucking tried. I've tried be positive, hopeful, but forever just being fucked over, so why should I keep trying? No. I'm a realist. I've accepted I won't ever find anyone, won't ever be happy, maybe not even be here much longer, sad, but very, very true.
  To make things even worse right now my illness is getting worse... I have always had the muscle pain, tiredness, etc, but now more and more symptoms are happening... like my joint pin is now increasing, bearable like the muscle pain, well almost. My hip pain is extremely bad! I'm stressed about my birthday, stressed at my illness being worse, which in turns makes me even worse, how unfair and shit does life want to be... really?!
  I'm still lonely. I'm still alone. I don't think that will ever change anyway.

  I really hate myself for feeling shit all the time. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I be happy? Life fucking sucks, and I don't want to be here.

Wednesday 1 February 2017

Financial Dominatrix.

  I thought I would do another post about what I do. How I got into this. Etc. You know the gst. I'm bored. Felt like blogging! ;). People in my hometown think they know what I do personally have their negative views etc, but I reckon it's because they wish they could do it. In fact. I know it is. A few of them have told me so... they just choose to publically humiliate & bully me instead. I honestly don't give a fuck though. Won't stop and let the bullies stop me from being me! Huh.
  Okay. So how did I start being a Findomme? It came to me. Someone asked to send me gifts off a wishlist on Instagram, I obviously agreed. He wanted a little SPH in return, otherwise he just liked to talk to me every so often. But then he disappeared. But I already had my taste... and I was hooked. I liked getting gifts! So I started to advertise myself more. My next slave was also off Instagram, I hadn't really started with Twitter just yet, but yeah, and his fetish? Was ball busting. So he paid me money, and sent me gifts. While I told him how to hit himself in the dick or the balls, and how hard, how many times... etc... thus getting more of a taste for more and more.... and then started the Financial Domination regularly. I used Instagram and Twitter for most of the time.
  How do I start my clips selling? I started about 6 or 7 months ago. I see Dommes posting all the time.. and I though why the hell not?! And that is how it took off. Findom related clips, worship clips, or strip teases. And these clips sell quite well. Make either just under or just over a grand. And I love the money. Being able not to worry is fun! At the moment my clips haven't sold, even after two mew ones today! Step up the game! Get buying! I have had no complaints. People have loved my clips... I bet you would too! (Iwantclips -- Abbyy36).
  Would I ever stop doing what I do? Maybe, if I could stop and not worry about money. Since I can't work I only work part time. Why can't I work? I have CFS/ME. Though I physically look okay. Mentally and physically I actually am not. In a nutshell, I am always in pain, and tired. But there are so many other things to do with it, so unfair on me. I wish I never had it! But back to subject... I would stop if I had another way to be financially okay. Dole is a no, you have to be abke to work & look for a job. Obviously I can't. If anything I would need disability, but because of my illness being a 'silent illness' it would be hard work to get it. Hopefully in the future I will be able to if I really needed it. I like the money the clips & Findom gets me. Who wouldn't?! But only if I was able to get money elsewhere, or find someone rich, would I ever stop. I may look like a golddigger, but you can't live without money, not really. So there's your answer.
  What have I done? What do I do? I have done many things when it comes to financial domination. My fetish? It is simply money. You get slaves ask all the time what is my Fetish... and it is honestly, simpy money. I mean nothing else could humanly turn me on more than money does. Maybe that's why my sex drive is constant hahaha! The best slaves are those who pay, and they do not ask for a fucking thing back... now they are the best! Most my subs who have contacted me have been those. That ask for nothing in return. So yeah, when I say I do fuck all for the money. I really do! But there have been the mini sessions I have... the main ones I have had experience with is ball busting, chastity, a lot of  humiliation, etc. Quite some more too... But I constantly advertise to do more, sissification, chastitiy, etc... but like I say. I like the ones who just gift and send money all the time. I like long term relationships with subs, but the ones i have obviously got scared and disappeard after a while.. obviously pussied out on being ruined more! You should become my sub if you're reading this. Get those regular payments in! ;).
  Another thing people assume around where I am... is that it's pervy old men that buy things and send money... I mean how is it pervy to quite simply send me money? It isn't. Little fuck retards where I am. But you will know this already if you read my old posts! Haha. Also, it's normally my age, just a little younger, or just a little older. Not mant have been 'old men' and I know why. Without any offense, but those that are older... they don't like tattoos, don't believe in them, old school fuckers. And look at me. I'm inked up, so many tattoos, and so many to come! Also, people in my area have gifted and sent money, you'd be surprised at how many I have actually made weak to spend on me. All these guys others would think are normal, but call them weird if they knew about it. Also my clips? Bought by most people around here... also I know a few around here who have bought every clip I have ever uploaded... I have about 70! Ha.
  Why is my name still mine? Why am i so open about it? The answer is quite simple. Well, answers. Like I said, Financial Domination came to me, not me going out there willy nilly trying, like every other fucker! So my fan base came from me being me in the first place. Why bother hiding?! Another reason? My ink. It's pretty unique. You know, not being a sheep and all that, I probably would have been found anyway! I'm also open because even though they talk shit about me publicly trying to bully and humiliate me... most my fan base is also from around here, like I've said. So this why!
  For anyone trying to get into this? My advice. Don't bother if it don't come naturallt, if you are not patient. You will not last. You really won't. Unless you have thousands of actual paying pigs, the payments are very up and down. Hence the patience. And if it doessn't come naturally there is there no point, I mean you just won't get anything. And like i said. Will not last!

  This is the end of this post. But may I add that this is fucking annoying at the moment. Yet again just full of timewasters, and no clip sales! You need to up your games. The place for the worst timewasting pigs though? Twitter. In my long time of being a Findomme. Only about a handful have paid off Twitter. The rest where mainly off Instagram and Twitter. So yeah, Twitter is the worst for it. Little losers if you're off there reading this, you're pointless. Nothing comes for free. Not even a chat. Payment is expected right away!

  Anyway. Thanks for reading.