Thursday 5 May 2016

Hurt, hurting, always.

I swear... I really am cursed.

Do people believe in past lives? I swear I do, and I swear to god I must have been Henry the Eigth because the amount of bullshit I have been through, and what I go through still is ridiculous. I don't think anyone realises what kinda shit and how it has badly effected me.

But seriously I just get more and more bullshit the more life goes on. It's no fun.

Like seriously. In my eyes I have friends. Just no full on proper friends because I mever ever see them, and sometimes some of them can tend to not talk to me unless it suits them, which makes life even more shit... I mean who the fuck do I have to turn too? Myself. Mostly. It sometimes sucks.

And as for guys, I just get messed around. I mean like even now, I'm with someone, but he wants to keep me a secret because he's embarassed by me. He doesn't even want to see me right now, like we were supposed to meet today, but no, than other than this he only wants to see me weekly. Which sucks and kinda hurts more.

When I say I just get shit. I do. I've lost everyone in my life pretty much, noone bothers, I have a shitty illness, well three shitty illnesses, my head is fucked. I can honestly say I still think about ending it all daily. I mean who the hell would miss me? Maybe my mum. Definately my cats.... But noone else.

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